It’s better to look inside than to run aimlessly when pain afflicts you. Handling it positively is the reminder that you are still in the league of independent souls, and have not become the mere pawns of fate, destiny or compromised existence.

Like most of the emotions in life, pain, too, is a feeling, relative in its impact (except in cases of death, where it is absolute, beyond control, beyond counseling).

This relativity is directed to and directed by the ‘inner us’, that leads us to develop the way we communicate with the life.

The ‘inner us’ is guided by the way we look at life and it, in turn, helps us to create and follow a trajectory.

Most of the things in life are interrelated and so are the emotions. Most of the events that look and feel standalone could lead to something and could have resulted out of something. Yes, there are exceptions. But exceptions are not the rule. Isn’t it?

As a natural corollary, we develop a mental faculty that explores (desirably or undesirably) links to the events happening in our lives.

If it is positive, it adds positively. But if the self-initiated sensory process of visiting and revising the past or the probabilities comes out to be negative, it makes living miserable. It adds to the gloom. It compounds the pain. It creates pain where pain had not to be. It adulterates feelings.

Once its starts happening, it creates a chain of similar feelings overtaking the person. And it leads to escapism where one runs away from the pain, compromising the independence that one had, killing the identity one wanted to be, overriding the ‘person’ one needed to be. The person becomes prisoner of the pain when he needed to master it. Pain suppresses his learning when he has to learn from it to handle it effectively the next time anything similar happens.

So, the interrelation involves risk. And if it involves ‘past or probabilities’ associated with painful memories or pain-evoking prospects, the risk level magnifies significantly.

If living is also about learning to handle and mitigate the elements of risk, one needs to learn and master the ‘dependence of these interrelations’. Pain is not good. But it is not always monstrous, as an escapist mind traces it.

One needs to learn how to segregate the interrelations; how and when to look at the interrelated moments and events as their standalone counterparts.

If one learns this basic tenet that governs the ‘relativity of emotions’, he can kill or can effectively deal with the pain learning and growing from it. And for this, one needs to go inside, to talk to the ‘inner him’.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey –


  1. People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

    • Very true Ram. If a life has to be lived fully, it needs to span a holistic view, encircling its every element, encompassing its every moment of experience. ‘Eventful or not’ is subjective and individualistic but every passing moment has some learning experience and that is universal. Its all about ‘how one looks at life’ but what remains is the relevant question of ‘how many realize it’?

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