Some of them have chosen to be there. Some of them were placed there. Some of them were forced to be there.

Some of them tried to go back to, but they were not allowed to.

One of them was this lady, of age of a grandmother, in her 70’s.

When one of the older grandmas asked her how she was doing, she said smiling: I am fine. Just have this blood pressure that is varying these days. And these silly joints need some pain-killers. And the legs and hands behave somewhat erratically now most of the time. Otherwise I am doing fine.

While saying this, the smile on her face was impeccable.

She spoke so easily as if it was her natural state of mind, reacting on difficulties of life in a way so as to find a way of living and that too, positively, even if surviving a basically frustrating atmosphere daily.

This old-age home is a paid facility for the senior citizens, who can pay, and has people from different walks of life.

Almost of them have sons and daughters but they are not staying with them. Reasons vary – some of the reasons we can perceive.

Some of them have children settled elsewhere and the parents found they were unable to migrate. Many of them have children settled elsewhere who decided to abandon their parents. Some of them have lost their children. Very few of them never had any child.

By feeling the atmosphere of this old-age home, though paid, it cannot said to be a conducing environment. The seniors living there are a scattered lot. Some socialize while others keep up to them. The old-age home, though charges them, fails to give them a decent daily-life.

Expecting the emotional support, something they need the most, is not to be expected.

They need emotional support with attachment and not the occasional connect with the outside world that comes in the form of public relations exercises of non-governmental organizations and socialites who scavenge for such events and visit places like this old-age home on days like the Independence Day or Diwali or any other festival to fulfill the need for their personal aggrandizement or for photo-op sessions.

And in this atmosphere, such a jovial and natural response to the life’s tougher moments was inspiring.

The smile that so beautifully reflected had the in-built answer on how to deal with the pain.

Take it head-on. Take it positively. Don’t run away from the pain. Try to live with it in order to win over it.

Running away only exacerbates the misery because you fail to see if there could be a possible way out.

A natural smile while in pain had this message for all of us, the smile of the grandma was telling me.

It was, yet again, reaffirming my faith in this lesson that I had learnt through my visits to such places.

Thanks Grandma.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/


They invariably come.

Personified, creating, adding to the spreading gloom..

Positioned, aiding to the fix of the restlessness..

Predisposed, like a forgotten follow up to the ruin of thoughtlessness in thoughts..

Moments that let you down..

Moments, when they let you down..

Moments, when they personify the negatives in your life..

Such moments, they invariably come.

This onslaught of moments, though painful and so unwelcome, is an integral part of our existence.

We feel this hurting display by moments regularly, especially in the moments, when we feel let down by ‘I’ or by the people closely associated with us or by the circumstances that we sincerely work to make amenable.

The gloom that spreads takes us into its cover. It pushes us to think and rethink. It may also push us to the state of thoughtlessness hammered by the pain of ‘not being understood’ or ‘being misunderstood’ or ‘not being taken care of’.

The insensitivity of the moments in those absent hours disconnects us from the rest of ‘our’ world.

Sometimes, this insensitivity of the moments also detaches a part of you from the rest of ‘you’.

Such moments, they invariably come.

But, don’t let them run over you.

Talk to them, try to feel what they personify, why they had to personify.

We may, we may not get answers but we need to ask questions and we need to look for the answers.

For, life has a knack of getting us stuck into the ‘zones’ of mental bogs, every now and then.

We need to be ‘thinking and asking’ to understand the ‘why of the moments of gloom’ to emerge from these occasional mental blocks.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/


It’s better to look inside than to run aimlessly when pain afflicts you. Handling it positively is the reminder that you are still in the league of independent souls, and have not become the mere pawns of fate, destiny or compromised existence.

Like most of the emotions in life, pain, too, is a feeling, relative in its impact (except in cases of death, where it is absolute, beyond control, beyond counseling).

This relativity is directed to and directed by the ‘inner us’, that leads us to develop the way we communicate with the life.

The ‘inner us’ is guided by the way we look at life and it, in turn, helps us to create and follow a trajectory.

Most of the things in life are interrelated and so are the emotions. Most of the events that look and feel standalone could lead to something and could have resulted out of something. Yes, there are exceptions. But exceptions are not the rule. Isn’t it?

As a natural corollary, we develop a mental faculty that explores (desirably or undesirably) links to the events happening in our lives.

If it is positive, it adds positively. But if the self-initiated sensory process of visiting and revising the past or the probabilities comes out to be negative, it makes living miserable. It adds to the gloom. It compounds the pain. It creates pain where pain had not to be. It adulterates feelings.

Once its starts happening, it creates a chain of similar feelings overtaking the person. And it leads to escapism where one runs away from the pain, compromising the independence that one had, killing the identity one wanted to be, overriding the ‘person’ one needed to be. The person becomes prisoner of the pain when he needed to master it. Pain suppresses his learning when he has to learn from it to handle it effectively the next time anything similar happens.

So, the interrelation involves risk. And if it involves ‘past or probabilities’ associated with painful memories or pain-evoking prospects, the risk level magnifies significantly.

If living is also about learning to handle and mitigate the elements of risk, one needs to learn and master the ‘dependence of these interrelations’. Pain is not good. But it is not always monstrous, as an escapist mind traces it.

One needs to learn how to segregate the interrelations; how and when to look at the interrelated moments and events as their standalone counterparts.

If one learns this basic tenet that governs the ‘relativity of emotions’, he can kill or can effectively deal with the pain learning and growing from it. And for this, one needs to go inside, to talk to the ‘inner him’.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/