STOP LOOKING FOR ROMANTICISM IN LOVE. DON’T IDEALIZE FRIENDSHIP ANYMORE. :)

So, this year’s Friendship Day is over, or for me, the first Sunday of August. But this year, it seemed, like the Valentine’s Day, the Friendship Day is also going to see some meteoric rise in its profile in the near future.

It seems the Friendship Day is also on way to get upscale with a swift rise in visibility, relevance (or which way you want to look at it) and mannerisms (with all the reservations or slants you may have).

What told me that it was the Friendship Day was my cellphone when it started beeping the WhatsApp messages it was receiving one after the other – and dot at midnight – at 12 AM. There were many, so many that I don’t remember when I had received such a great lot the last time except the New Year wishes.

And the flow continued the next morning when I opened my Facebook account to check the feed. There were messages and wall posts by the people in my contact book. People were busy writing and singing friendship paeans, were busy liking, reacting and responding to the wisdom quotes explaining the real essence of friendship. Some were posting even songs and video themes.

It all sounded so good. It looked like the whole creation had become your friend. And the best thing about it was you didn’t need to put efforts for it – that you didn’t need to throw your so-called post-modern, over-liberal tantrums. It just happened. It was so spontaneous.

There were many who had not bothered about you in ages, those who had conveniently forgotten about your anniversaries (including your birthday) – but see the prowess of the communication technologies – it wiped out all the time lags in one go – all the grievances (if they really existed) – reconnecting you to one and all. All the distances got jettisoned in one go. It seemed more effective and direct than anything you could ever have imagined.

The mainstream media proved the “change” it needed to be for the Valentine’s Day to become a pan-India phenomenon – to become an intrinsic part from the cultural import it used to be – to gel with the ‘cool, urban lifestyle’ – to influence and civilize the ‘still untouched rural or small town life’ – and to co-opt the remnants who still felt otherwise.

The social media is doing the same for the Friendship Day, especially WhatsApp and Facebook – this Friendship Day told me. And its good.

So..Happy Friendship Day folks..(and my belated Valentine’s wishes for those who have taken a plunge).. 🙂

Yes, like everything else, a Valentine’s Day – or a Friendship Day – has both, positive and negative, facets. It all depends on you – how do you perceive life – that how do you see good to feel good – that if you walk the talk – that how do you walk the talk. It all depends on which side of the line you are – that you exude the new-age coolness from your persona – or you are still about the same boring stuff that defines an old school product.

It is like about your girlfriend/beloved (or boyfriend). It is for sure that your girlfriend (who may have become your life-partner by now – whom you see as the most sincere and committed person in your life) would have posed this question – “Though it doesn’t matter but can tell me how much do you earn?” – and you would burn the midnight oil in convincing her of the depth of your pocket – otherwise she would start with her calculations (or vice versa in some cases).

And you don’t see any conflicts here – because this is the new-age paradigm – the new parallel practical of the old school. There would be countless folks who would have faced this situation and would have acted in the similar manner. And the trend is only going to pick up – because such girls (or boys, whosoever fits the bill) are fundamentally correct. Financial security must come first. One cannot substantiate emotions just by big, old school ideals. For them, the practical considerations come first – even before initiating on the thought that would ultimately lead to the thought of being together with someone “special”.

And people are getting even more ‘cool and practical’ with friendship. Now the old school inhibitions seldom come into play here. Social media platforms like Facebook or Google Plus have made everyone in your address list your friend. They have categorized friendship in multiple layers and the best thing about it is you don’t need to be ‘chuddy buddy’ with someone with his (or her) best friend. And even best friends now have categories – like the one with whom you can do your routine time pass stuff at 4 AM – or the one with whom you can tag along with during your time out sorties and – or the one who can act as your ‘this number or that number’ before your ‘friends’ and so on .

And it’s all in the name of new-age spirit and newfound principles riding high on the waves of revolutions – first the mainstream media – and now the social media – the new communication technologies which have bridged the gaps – which have wiped out the distances – which have killed the time lags – which have caused the feedbacks (of every sort) to move in the real time – which have cocktailed cultures like a highly skilled bartender does blurring the lines of this or that side – and which have created perception of new identities.

Folks, just imbibe this spirit. Stop looking for romanticism in love. Don’t idealize friendship anymore. The new ‘cool and practical’ breed is as right in its approach to life as the old schools guys are. It’s just that they are populating the universe very rapidly now – outnumbering their old peers. The old school folks would learn to live with it.

©SantoshChaubey

THAT YOUR KIDS ARE NOT JUST YOUR KIDS ANYMORE..

Children
You don’t know
When they grow-up
And start talking
As if
It is their own sky
With its own blue
And a hue
That, sometimes
Makes you feel
Alienated
Your kids
The pivot of your life
Suddenly start moving
In directions
You never sanctioned
Leaving you hinged
To the point
That still stays around
To that pivot only
Time for you to grow-up
To reconcile with changes
To tag along with life
To try and understand
Meanings you don’t see
To persist with the space
Your children demand
You need to understand
That, some day
You had given them life
That, for some years
They meant life for you
But not anymore
Grow-up and realize
That your kids are not
Just your kids anymore
They have a life
Where you may exist
But within your space

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

..EYES WERE SPEAKING A THOUSAND NIGHTS

Dazzled, as in a clear summer night
The eyes were speaking a thousand nights
And every word was as meaningful,
As the moon on the brightest of nights
A quiet was there,
As if with years of longing behind
A connect that had got lost somewhere
The eyes were speaking a thousand nights
Reaching, as love in a clear rainy night
Trying to speak for the days lost
The night had a song with a blue note
Lyrically flowing, away from the lost suns,
And away from the ignored moons,
It was clearly not a night of confessions..

Forever

..EYES WERE SPEAKING A THOUSAND NIGHTS

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

THE ONLY PERFECTION WAS..THE MASK..

THE POETIC EXPERIMENT

The thought randomly came to me while watching a movie (Jim Carrey’s ‘Yes Man’ here) though it had nothing to do with the movie, its plot or other elements.

My thoughts spoke to me that I randomly write down some words spoken by the characters and try to weave a poem around them. I loved the thought and randomly picked up these words during the 30 minutes I watched the movie.

The words were: covenant, molehill, weird, deserve, dicey, beautiful, promise, perfect, amazing, stroll

Another 30 minutes of my late night hours (or early morning hours for most of the folks) came up with these lines. While trying to write a poem around these words, I treated the words as neutral, independent entities free from the context of the movie. After finishing with these words, I felt good and decided I would make this ‘poetic experiment’ a regular practice.

This is the output of my first randomly thought ‘poetic experiment’:

THE ONLY PERFECTION WAS THE MASK..

The covenant done,
They looked through each other,
With a weird perception,
They thought they deserved..

In their beautiful world,
The premises remained dicey
It was amazing the way,
The duplicitous promises stayed..

The only perfection was..the mask,
To betray the promises
Yes, the stroll up the molehill,
Had the conscience killed yesterday..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

HAVE YOU BEEN A FRIEND IN NEED?

A friend needs you the most when, somehow, he is not able to share his problem with you, whatever his reason(s) are.

And the reasons don’t exist when the problems start killing the words.

When a person is not able to express something painful he is going through, his agony and suffering cannot be understood by others including his family members and his best friends.

Also, it happens frequently that the conditions and the relations in the family don’t permit a person to even look in some problem while being with the family. Reasons vary and all we know and have been through them.

A friend is the natural outlet in such situations.

Even if the person cannot speak about his situation, he comes to stay with, to let some of the agonizing moments pass, in company of his friend(s).

Yes, not all friendships qualify this benchmark.

His silence should speak to you then. Do you read your best friend’s silence?

But if you claim to be a friend, you must understand the state of mind of your friend.

Knowing the reason should never be a point here. Knowing or trying to know how you can reach out to him in his lost state of mind, sharing and lessening his pain, should be your natural act.

He needs you there. He expects you to understand something he cannot explain.

Have you been a friend in need?

Have you been a friend who is there, not requiring any superlative?

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

WHEN YOU HATE SOMEONE..

“When you hate someone,
It’s natural; it’s about being human.
Don’t curse your Self for it.
But don’t love it either,
Like a love that refuses to die.
Don’t let it win your sense of Self.”

When You Hate Someone

WHEN YOU HATE SOMEONE..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

WHEN YOU FEEL BETRAYED..

Increasing chances are if you are the old school, if you are of the breed who believes in building and following a relation out of your family honestly, going by the puritan ethos of commitment, you will be betrayed.

It is not specific to any particular relation or any set of particular relations.

Yes, but it hurts more in cases of friendships and its extensions and variations because it then involves innocent expectations and informal elements of relations that exist in a family.

Who is right, who was wrong, is always perceived and assimilated individually.

Be the individualist to the core, be true to your heart, in handling your sentiments whenever you feel betrayed by someone you thought was on the same page as you were and you felt for the person as you feel for your ‘self’.

You have no right over anyone but you. You can be manipulated, your emotions can be exploited, but never let them take you down to the level that you start misunderstanding your ‘self’.

It is cliché but true that honesty and commitment are misunderstood if followed in totality. But can they be followed selectively, opportunistically? That is nothing but debauchery.

Whatever that your acts are taken for, stick to your viewpoint, follow what you have been doing.

Never compromise the purity of your thought process because of someone else. It will be a double whammy. The other one has already betrayed you. Now you will be betraying your ‘self’, the raison d’être of your ‘being’.

Yes, it hurts but pain can be a very good friend, a blessing in disguise.

”Pain always makes the space for a good friend. Its resilience lets you go deeper within you, connecting you with YOU, giving you the language, to communicate, with your SELF.”

Remain honest. Keep believing in totality of commitments. That is a must for you to remain honest to your ‘self’.

Life has to be about you. It’s better to look inside than to run aimlessly when pain afflicts you. Handling it positively is the reminder that you are still in the league of independent souls, and have not become the mere pawns of fate, destiny or compromised existence.

Remain committed to your value-system. Learn from betrayals. Learn from the pain they cause. And come out to be the stronger, better and a more humane ‘YOU’.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/