HOPELESSNESS

Hopelessness
Sometimes, it becomes more than a word
In environs
Sucked, squeezed, bland, pitch dark
Life feels stuck
In an oblivion
Where words play cruel games
Some meanings you do get
But most sound familiar yet meaningless
Like the frustrating maze of tapestries
It was only the last evening
When you had seen the world anew
Sensing the volition
And conversing within
And hopelessness was just a word
But not anymore
It is there to tear you apart
In a day only
Giving words phrases you don’t want to hear
And what kills your more
Is you even don’t want to run
Hopelessness,
Sometimes, it makes you feel so empty
That you stop listening to yourself
Lost in those dark environs
In a maze that sucks you within
Humiliating any conversation
Trying to kill every sense you talk
Hopelessness
It does so when you start losing the grip
On being yourself

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

PEAL THE ZEAL

Peal the Zeal 1

Peal the Zeal 2

PEAL THE ZEAL

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

REFLECTING ON..AS A YEAR COMES..

For the love of writing
With the thrill of ride
For the joy of thinking
With a canvas so wide

To nature’s hallways
To its rhythmic slopes
To nature’s galleries
Through its sky ropes

For the love of writing
In the mood of romantics
For the pull of reflecting
In the league of semantics

My story in 365 days
My stories of 365 days
A life rejoiced every day
A though lived on its way

Writing it on my days
Riding it on my ways
Aiming high all it says
Thinking right all it prays

That is what is to be
It was what set me free
A life in own company
A thought in its harmony

Reflecting on as a year comes
Writing on as its day beckons
So far, the trip has been fine
And the pleasure is all mine..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey –https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

A YEAR GOES BY..REFLECTING ON..

It was 365 days ago, the Tuesday on December 31, 2013, the day of symbolic transition of time, from one to the next milestone, from a year to the next, on the timescale, designed to keep track of times our lives pass through, that I was writing a poem, ‘A Year Goes By’, musing on the days the year had for me.

Doing so is always existentially individual. And here is the Wednesday of December 31, 2014, with an hour left.

Like any other event of life, it is for the perspectives that what we think on this day, how we reflect on the days gone by. Practically, it changes nothing much, apart from the psychological symbolism that gives us the frame to look back, to reflect on – on what was a year in life, a capsule of time, adding to the story of our existence, adding stories as the year proceeded, adding elements as the days changed the calendar entry.

And it is never a zero-sum game – positive or negative, you gain something, in terms of experiences – vital enough to guide you if you can hear the call.

I had not thought of any resolutions on December 31, 2014, like I always did. Yes, I had my reflections and accordingly had certain stopovers to head to, but there was nothing in the realm of ‘pinned’. Instead, it was living life fully, my way, every day.

How successful I have been? Now success is a relative term and should be left to personal, intimate considerations. Like every life, I had my share of good and bad and routine but I didn’t see any point, like always, to assess my life in ‘gain or loss’ terms. I could do what I had thought to do. I could not do certain things that were in my mind. But I could continue doing certain things that I needed to do.

I wrote freely, extending and building on my way of life, going deeper inside me, on the journey to reclaim me that had its origin on a day, exactly four years ago, December 31, 2010, a setback that first pushed me to question my identity vehemently, setting me thus on the path to find who I was before the reason of the setback had taken over my thinking, and later on, became the light to guide me to go even deeper inside, in my own company. Yes, the identity crisis was over a long ago but identity is a lifetime love.

2014 saw definitive development on my books, two of them I am working on. The flow was good initially and I had thought I would be able to finish the drafts by the year end. But, then the writer’s block crept in (if I can claim to have one ). So, while the thoughts kept on building and finding space in my notes, the drafts didn’t progress to completion. Anyway, the block is over now and I think I am going to take it with the same love I had.

Meanwhile, I could finally bring up my website – http://www.santoshchaubey.com – to extend my blogging experience to a formal and diversified content platform. Some of my content is already categorized there and as I am going to take it as extension of my notebooks, it will see constant experiments and updates.

Writing is relief and release and I explored the canvas for newer realms and blogging continued to have some of its share through my regular blogs – http://severallyalone.blogspot.in/ and https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/ – and my themed blogs – http://www.banarascalling.com/ and http://santoshchaubey.tumblr.com/ – with 550 posts including – articles, poems, photographs, experimented images and quotes. For my first blog, ‘Beyond This Life’ or ‘Severally Alone’ (http://severallyalone.blogspot.in/), it was also the third ‘no breaks’ calendar year in a row.

During the course of writing, I did something that I had not done in years. I don’t remember the last time when I had watched a full movie in theatre. I prefer the home video option, even if it means some wait. I am not a film buff but I admire and revisit the good cinema and home videos give me the liberty to do so at my own pace while at the same time help me in building my library. But 2014 had the final episode of JRR Tolkien’s Middle Earth story, as filmed by Peter Jackson, scheduled in December. It was capping the second Middle Earth trilogy of Jackson’s stint with Tolkien’s land of fantasy after 11 years when the best of the lot, ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King’, a landmark in narrating a book on screen, was released in 2003 and there was an urge to see the trilogies side-by-side, in their totalities, on how the craft of filmmaking had performed comparatively.

Now the home video would not come before April 2015. So, for my urge for the comparative study, I decided to take the route long forgotten when I picked up the movie in a theatre on Saturday, December 13.

Now, in few hours, the 4 of 2014 would transition to 5 of 2015. So, while the three digits would remain the same, the fourth different one would cause the next cycle on the timescale to begin, like the eternal message of living that says – ‘tomorrow is built on today with learning from yesterday’ – remember, life is never a zero-sum game.

It would be another calendar year with 365 new days to explore, to write, to read, to travel, to create new ideas, new stories, rewriting the oldies, clicking and capturing the known and unknown while continuing on the inward journey.

With the freedom of ‘no resolutions’ – with the freedom of my commitment to my conscience to live every day meaningfully liberated – with the freedom to make every day an opportunity!

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey –https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

GAMES LIFE PLAYS – HOW RECKLESS A LIFE CAN BECOME..

‘How reckless life is?’
Vs
‘How reckless a life can be?’ 

— The games the existence plays with the identities..

— Silly pursuits of life when the spirit of living was staring at death..

— And life recklessly made you love the fatalist in you..

— And you recklessly followed the fictions of life..

‘The games that were to be played differently.’
Vs
‘The games that were not to be played.’

— How reckless a life becomes..

— Mutilating its own soul while playing with others..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

LIVE YOUR SENSE OF THE DAY

Play or play not
May or may be not
Outlaw and outlandish
Sensible or gibberish
Shed the inhibitions
Tear into questions
Rewrite interpretations
Soak into the moment of,
Your resurrection
Enjoy the outlaw of May
Live your sense of the Day
Play it or play it not
Kill the dimensions
Let it be on the plane of,
Your intentions
Sensible is what,
Makes sense to you
Buy the gibberish,
To get your clue
Overwrite prescriptions
Do away with suggestions
Play it now or play it not
Set you free, let it be

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

BE DEMANDING. LET THE LIFE BE DEMANDING.

Life – the context to live it like making it matter for you, every day, day after day – life for you – your identity for life – have to be mutually demanding.

Yes, life is demanding, but again, aren’t you demanding?

Don’t you demand from life, from the expectations that you have, from the people that you care for or from the people you don’t even seriously think of, from the circumstances that weave the elements of your life on a thread to make coherent aspects of living or chaotic phases of surviving?

So, don’t crib on life being demanding on you.

It’s a matter of who prevails on whom?

Life plays with you. You also play with life.

Be contemporaries. If you have to have your living in the context of life, your life needs to have its existence in the context of your identity.

Life, at times, may act and sound irrational. Don’t follow it then.

Synergise with the rational elements of life. Be an enthusiast to prevail over its irrational elements.

Go back to who you have been, who you are.

If you haven’t done so yet, start creating the construct of the basics that make for who you are.

Define the rationality in the context of your identity. Let your logic handle the irrational elements of life to work on the possibility of synthesis if possible.

Stop cribbing. Be demanding. Let the life be demanding.

Start playing. Start hitting. Start slogging.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

“FEELING LOW: DON’T GIVE LIFE THAT OPPORTUNITY”

“If you feel low and if you allow
the moments to take over you,
life will make you feel even lower.
Don’t give life that opportunity.”

Don't Give Life That Opportunity

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

WHEN LIFE MAKES YOU FEEL LOW

Moments of feeling low come invariably in life.

Like life is a random event of a life-span that we try to make methodical by giving it a sense through our living, such moments, too, are random events happening regularly, with established elements of unpredictability behind them.

Like we try to control life by trying to give it an aim, a sense to make a living that stands out individually; that feeds us with elements of identity; that propels us with questions of existence, we need to make sense of ‘what and why’ of the moments making us feel low, making us miserable souls in depressing moments, to take control of them.

Yes, there cannot be a set procedure or practice to overcome such moments. It is simply your resolve that has to say ‘I persist’ whenever you feel the onslaught of life’s erratic flirtations and despondent hibernations.

Yes, it is difficult to do so. But you must realize that feeling low and thinking further about it stings even deeper; sucks even harder; macerates even smaller.

It has to be thought on the way that there is no option but to go down and invite more negativity if you linger more with your depression, if you let the moments making you feel low stay longer, if you value the factors (reasons) hounding in those moments take over you.

In no time, they become lethal enough to take over your thought process, to mess up with your identity, to dwarf your existence, to diminish the sense that you have been making of you.

Can you let that happen? Should you let that happen?

That can never be an option in life. That must never be.

There is no other option but to face them to kill them. The depression of such moments has to have only this validity that they make you think ‘what went wrong’ and ‘why it happened’ and how to tread further.

Feel low, but only to hit back. Pain is always a strong motivator if you can resist successfully the compulsions and temptations of escapism.

Whenever you feel low, you need to persist with the sensibility that gives your life the living you have been working for. Think of who you were and who you are. Think of the body of the work you have put in and let them play dice with the elements making you feel low. Persist. And you shall win.

You have to be in control of your life. Life should not control you.

If you feel low and you allow such moments to take over you, life will make you feel even lower.

Don’t give life that opportunity.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/