QUESTIONS..QUESTIONS..

Questions that life so habitually throws
That sometimes they get that overdose
To the extent that it becomes so gloomy
Instead of a simple row with life
Questions, sometimes, embrace thorns
When it had to be a rose, even if verbose
Questions, sometimes, lose their repose,
And, at times, repulse to a listless state
Questions, sometimes, lose their weaving
Any why! Only in order to get apposed
Questions, sometimes, bring us together
But at times, they also send us afar
Questions, sometimes, push us to the altar
When we seem to be lost in a war within
Questions, sometimes, they leave their scars
Visible even in a future where past sucks
Questions, sometimes, split you
Ready with a scimitar, to mutilate you
Questions, sometimes, bring some thoughts
That you find you are totally at odds with
Questions, sometimes, create complexes
To simply get you confused in their maze
Questions, sometimes, ask like a fanatic
As to, why don’t you follow this zealot
Questions, sometimes, behave like an abbot
Who is ready to wait till infinity for his godot
Questions, sometimes, question their space
But a void is all that covers their face

©SantoshChaubey

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EXPECTATIONS

Sometimes, you feel empty from within
Sometimes, you need to feel lost
Sometimes, it is a journey to nowhere
Sometimes, words just don’t add up
Sometimes, you just need it to be like this
When you fail to speak to even your soul
Life has been brutalized by expectations
‘What was there yesterday’ is not over
Yet ‘what will be there tomorrow’ begins
Life has become a maze of equations
Of burdening relations, of forced lies
You don’t know when you stopped caring
For a life that you had begun together
You could not realize when it slipped out
Like a borrowed identity, like a fake living
That life became a stranger in your chores
You got habituated to what you despised
Words used to be your friends in a past
But they sound like quirky existences now
Sometimes, they flow, like a yesterday
But their friction hounds every other day
Asking questions you don’t want to answer
But the truth is you need to answer them
It is not that you don’t realize this
But swept over by expectations of a life
That you never thought would be yours
You find those spaces of sanity choked
You meet your estranged life and soul
And fail to read your past and present
In a mad rush to meet expectations
When you can’t connect with words
Where you can’t correlated with journey
When your identity looks like a stranger
Where your life stops making any sense
In moments, when pain becomes unbearable
You cry for an honest introspection
You long for a clean slate, again, from within
And you madly try to make sense of words
On a journey that you did not choose
In moments like these, you try to feel lost
In a desperate effort to speak to your soul
To make sense of where it all began
To see if you can still heal your existence

©SantoshChaubey

THINK ABOUT IT..

Think about it passionately
Life is in this moment
Beckoning you from restless altars
Sing along with it
Why can’t you write a new piece?
Go by your inner call
This crap was never meant for you
Okay, what was there has flown
Now is the time
Think about it
Write your mind, write your moments
Speak your life, jive with your soul
Let your senses prevail
Let your call be heard
Go by what you are for
Think passionately, act joyfully
Life’s romance was always here
In this moment only
Get along with it
It was always there, waiting for you

©SantoshChaubey

REFLECTING ON. AS A YEAR COMES.

For the love of writing
With the thrill of ride
For the joy of thinking
With a canvas so wide

To nature’s hallways
To its rhythmic slopes
To nature’s galleries
Through its sky ropes

For the love of writing
In the mood of romantics
For the pull of reflecting
In the league of semantics

My story in 366 days
My stories of 366 days
A life rejoiced every day
A thought lived on its way

Writing it all on my days
Crooning them in my bays
Riding through doorways
Its spread all over it says

That is what is to be
It is what sets me free
A life in own company
A thought in its harmony

Reflecting..as a year comes
Writing on as its Day beckons
So far, the trip has been fine
And the pleasure is all mine..

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©SantoshChaubey

WELCOME 2017. ADIEU 2016.

2017. A YEAR COMES.

Why do we celebrate events like a ‘new year day’ – in every calendar – when it doesn’t bring any qualitative change in life in practical terms?

After all, if we don’t count exceptions, nothing much changes on a ‘tomorrow’ than what it is on a ‘today’.

It’s symbolic and therefore it is important – to live and relive life – to live and relive its premises – and its promises that it makes and it doesn’t.

It is always between ‘what is going to change from one calendar day to the next’ and ‘every day is a new day, a new hope, a new opportunity’.

Naturally, it is always better to go with the later one – every day is a new day and every day is a new ‘you’.

Perspectives are what make or break a life – the classical half-filled or half-empty proposition!

Welcome 2017. Adieu 2016.

Reflect on. Retrospect. Introspect.

Look back to look ahead.

To reflect on the days waiting for you. To recharge yourself. With the symbolic milestone of a New Year.

A symbolic milestone that comes every year.

It is for you to look at it – so why won’t we do it in a positive, uplifting mode?

Yes, life is very unpredictable – and so are its difficulties – with moments that let you down – with letdowns that lock you in an inertia.

But life tells to always look ahead – at the point beyond that letdown. It is only you who can break the run of inertia in your life.

Life’s experiences should tell us that there is no substitute, no alternative of the zeal to fight back – especially when life is dragging you down.

Kill those jinxes that work to darken your path.

The rules of the game that life is point in just one direction – stay along and against the odds you face while trying to live life the way you seek.

Days like January 1 or December 31 are important milestones to take stock of how the time has gone by so far – and how you need to look ahead – to measure your life so far – with an element of periodicity.

Adieu 2016. Welcome 2017.

©SantoshChaubey

AS 2017 COMES. THE SYMBOLISM OF A DAY.

Transition of moments
And symbolism of a day
To look back on
To feel the days gone by

To rehash your milestones
To recap your pains
To read them yet again
To write them plain

Rendition of moments
In a day’s life with the past
To think on your present
And possibly that future

To make its tomorrow
To live its new today
To renew the pledge
With same conviction

To read the life, obviously
With a newness in you

The symbolism
Of a day’s transition
Happening everyday
Rejuvenates your identity

The symbolism
Of a day’s transition
From a year to the next
Is for to reflect on life

A year comes for the day
To add new elements
To its identity
With everyday newness

A day comes
To come everyday
To open up new vistas
For you to achieve more
For you to be more of you

A year comes
For every tomorrow
To make your today
For every day
To make your day

©SantoshChaubey

2016 GOES BY..REFLECTING ON..

It is always between ‘what changes from one calendar day to the next’ and ‘every day is a new day, a reservoir of hopes, a new opportunity to do, undo or redo things’.

And it is always better to go with the later one – every day is a new day and every day is a new ‘you’.

Welcome 2017. Adieu 2016.

Reflect on. Retrospect. Introspect.

To reflect on the days ahead. To recharge yourself. With this symbolic milestone.

A symbolic milestone that comes every year.

It is for you to look at it – so why won’t we do it in a positive, uplifting mode?

Yes, life is very unpredictable – and so are its difficulties – with moments that let you down – with letdowns that lock you in an inertia.

But pragmatism tells to always look ahead – at the point beyond that letdown. It is only you who can break the run of inertia in your life – it is only you who can win over the psychological entrapments that you have built around yourself.

Life’s experiences should tell us that there is no substitute, no alternative, but to fight back – when life is dragging you down. Kill those jinxes that work to darken your path.

After all, apart from the people who really care for you and mind you, that includes a few handful (obviously including your family), who else stands with you emotionally (or even pratically)? Everyone else either has a fleeting attention to the problems your are facing or a ‘knack’ to exploit you more in your hours of crisis.

Anyway, that was about migrating from one year to the next – here in this case, from December 31, 2016 to January 1, 2017.

So..what has been my account of the year?

Diversified. Challenging. With my share of highs and lows. With my problems and with my triumphs.

Like it happens in every life.

Like it happened the previous year.

The many things that I had thought to do this year – some of them I could do – some of them are works in progress – and some of them are in advanced stages of ideation – and some of them are in still pipeline – something that always happens – in every life – and I have learnt to enjoy it this way.

I continued the work to improve my personal website – which I treat as my web journal – and so far, I have been engaged with it looks and progress. I had taken the domain name in 2014 and the development with a professional touch, that began last year, continued this year unabated – and it was in sync with what I had thought when I was beginning 2016. Also, I started reworking on my other major website – BanarasCalling – and I hope to complete the first target in 2017. ToonJunction is another work in progress. Besides, there are some more ‘upcomings’.

While reflecting back on 2015 on December 31 last year, I had decided that I would devote more time to my books and would limit my online publishing activity to once a day. But this is one area where I need to push myself deeply now because the 2016 has been same on this front as 2015 was.

Apart from that, it looks fine. Now that when I am reflecting back on 2016, on a December 31 exactly one year later, I am already more than a post a day – so far 431 posts this year in 365 days with this December 31 yet to go. So it will be like 2015 – with 432 posts.

2016 was the fifth consecutive year for my writing and publishing pledge where I could maintain the discipline of writing or creating something daily – something that I had begun on October 15, 2011 – though with a random thought – with no long terms goals – but with ‘every day’ convictions.

I still have no goals. My driver is the sense of satisfaction that I draw after creating something from discipline of doing it daily, doing it regularly.

Yes, I regret that I could not work that much on my books as I had thought (there were similar thoughts on December 31, 2015), but what is relieving is that I know that why I could not do so and that I would do something concrete with them in the days to come (this is something I can lift from my last year’s assessment).

Like I have been doing with my writing and with my creativity, I could do all that I needed to – with diversity as the leitmotif – in articles, in essays, in poetry, in images, in quotes, in fiction.

And yes, this year, I began on my unplanned travel plans and I can say, to my sense of peace, that they have contributed to my work.

All that I have been through in 2016 I cannot write here and I should not write here, but while moving on to the next year with the symbolic importance of January 1 – of ‘newness and hope’ – I have no bad feeling about how 2016 passed – but good reasons to look ahead – and positive energy to work further.

vv118horizon

©SantoshChaubey

I SHALL SEE IT THEN..

In future, if I had to
Laugh at my helplessness
Or had to cry over it
I shall see it then
Now is not the time for that
That I think of something else
Life is moving at its own pace
And I am in my own passion
Yes, I laugh and I cry
But that as per my zeal
Right now,
Tomorrow is my only shadow
And today is my only life

I SHALL SEE IT THEN..

Scan0032

अपनी बेबसी पर हंसना पड़ा
या रोना ही पड़ा
तो देखेंगे हम
फिलहाल तो वक़्त नहीं है
के हम कुछ और सोचें
ज़िन्दगी अपनी रफ़्तार में है
और हम अपने जूनून में
हँसते भी हैं, रोते भी हैं
पर अपनी ही धुन में
अभी तो कल ही अपना है
और आज ही हमसाया है

तो देखेंगे हम

©SantoshChaubey

MY FACE IS JUST AN ACCESS TO THE MIRROR..

My face is just an access to the mirror
Otherwise there is a deep disconnect
Perpetuated by years of dependence
Perpetrated by countless hours together
We never realized what would be the life
When reflections will tell different stories
Now there are colours to mix in yours
And there are colours to fade in ours
The mirror shows us those tales to plead
But I find you adrift, lost in yesteryears
And how would I not know the eventual
You are as I am, lost in time and its stories
My face, like yours, lost in each other, is,
Just an access to the mirror, not its stories

Entrapped by Loss

MY FACE IS JUST AN ACCESS TO THE MIRROR..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

IT WAS SO..NO SO LONG AGO..

It was so
Not so long ago
When reasons had gone dumb
And senses were forced to go numb
Life was in moments but not as a whole
It was so
Not so long ago
When a life was in denial
Even if succinct was every trial
Reasons came in flashes, on an isolated pole
It was so
Not so long ago
When nights used to be longer
And days had their dullness stronger
Words sounded hollow, as if coming from a deep hole
It was so
Not so long ago
When his poetry stopped being lyrical
As if the moments of reflection were mythical
He knew he had to fight back but he did not know the mole
It was so
Not so long ago
When it all seemed lost in a chasm
Trapped in a labyrinth of an endless sensory spasm
Where an identity was crushed even if all that was left was his soul..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/