AND I DO REASON NOW..

I did not know, then
It would go this far
But I was always up
For what was coming
After I felt the need
To go beyond in life

That was the moment
When for a period
I had stopped reasoning
Allowing my soul to feel
What I had felt once
Flowing along the flow

I started a journey
I had decided for me
Though I had forgotten
The path so known
That it looked so distant
That it looked amiss

I have come this far
Flowing unrestricted
And I do reason now
Listening to my soul
Taking life as it comes
Shaping life as I need

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

DECISION

Still living that day
Like yesterday
When I had decided
To sit, to think
To go deeper inside
To make a life
As I had thought
To see the way ahead

It is my decision
To remain unsettled
And to live the feeling
Of the day
As it was just yesterday
The day when I felt
I was crying for an edifice
That never cared for me

I needed to look back
Into the time and its reasons
To try again to find
Why it was all so ambiguous
I would ask for answers
But why there were none
Yes, I still don’t have answers
But I accepted it on that day

What I did in my past
Was about my decisions
And I needed to go along
To find the reasons
For my decisions ahead
To set my soul free
To come out of ghettos
That had cropped up

The day when I realized
My life was still mine
Even if some decisions
Were not in time
When I felt
Even if I was wronged
I could reconcile
With what was dark

The decision
That gave me life back
The way I was
It asked to look back at
The days in past
Even if the darker ones
With reasons never given
To find the light ahead

I still live that day
Everyday
To own my decisions
Taking what all I say
To reason further
To settle
On an unsettling path
To see the way ahead

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

DON’T GO TOO DEEP INTO A TOMORROW THAT YOU CANNOT READ!

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Don’t go too deep into a future that cannot be assessed. Don’t try to read too much into the calculations of a then that is not now.

True, keeping thoughts of future away is difficult. Not looking beyond tomorrow is a psychological perseverance that needs practicing.

But, slowly, it dawns on you that it is not worth – staking your today for some distant tomorrows.

Try to focus on three days – yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Hinge yourself literally by your today. Every possibility of your existence lies in the moment you breathe your life for the next immediate one, trying to stay a healthy course.

Yesterday is a reflection that aligns with your thought process or you find a way to deal with.

With your today and yesterday, you deal with the real time.

A tomorrow that is within your perceivable thinking based on your today and yesterday is needed to make better out of your today.

But beyond this perceivable tomorrow lies a realm of calculations, assessments, aspirations and thoughts that are not hinged even on your immediate future that you can easily see based on your today.

While the routine of thoughts continue with its routine of going beyond even death, we are what we feel about us today and what we want to feel us about our perceivable tomorrow – based on what we felt about us yesterday.

You may have a goal for your life. You may set different sub-goals to reach to that supreme goal of your life, that you try to preserve at any cost. But the goalposts keep on changing. You keep on your moving goalposts based on your today.

An interference in this process of a tomorrow that you cannot perceive devoids you of this liberty of moving your goalposts – a must to remain on the path to your supreme goal.

Don’t go too deep into a tomorrow that you cannot read.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

LIFE IS ALWAYS SLOGGED WITH ALTER-EGOS

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Life is always slogged with alter-egos – the personality and its other aspects – and the underlying philosophy that is assorted, assimilated and reflected as we move on with time.

This experiential philosophy is a way to look at things with a leverage to look at in your own way, giving you, in turn, the leverage to scale the scope.

That is a vital way to look at life as it keeps you in company – the way that has been famously philosophical about philosophy – its inherent roots in you and its subsequent emergence and sustenance based on how efficiently you understand, communicate with and befriend your alter-egos.

And the existentialism of this philosophy is – it also allows you to develop your own paradigm (and paradoxes as well) including your own ways and definitions to look at life events, attachments and detachments, pain and peace, and what may be behind our feelings to feel so or what may follow our feelings.

Life is always sum total of events that are never sum total in entirety – shaping, fragmenting, reshaping and inventing on its way – from a day to the next – from an aspect of life to the other.

The life experiences are varied. Life lives them in vivid ways. Within a life, you are your one aspect today – you are your other aspect tomorrow.

A life lived is about an efficient and naturalized circumnavigation of the varied aspects of your life – the alter-egos that take you to the extremes of life events – the experiences that let you philosophize about the lives you internalize to become one with your question to become you.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

HE WAS NOT ABLE TO TALK TO THE ABSENCE IN HIM TODAY

He was not able to read the Absence in him, an Absence the paradigms of which were so familiar to him.

He loved to read and read regularly the writing of his life experiences, their liveliness and the void of their silent moments.

But something was amiss this time.

Also, the want of the ‘Absence’ was shadowing all other that was present.

Though, he still loved to read the life, he was not in communion with his soul to read the Absence today, because he was not able to personify his thoughts.

They were running together. They were not talking.

They were walking together. They were still not talking but their steps were in unspoken unison.

They were trying to read each other. The silent space between them was uniting their thoughts to converse, giving them the opportunity.

Yet, he was not able to read the Absence in him this time. He was not able to personify the Absence in him this time.

He was not able to experience this experience though he knew he had to read it, to make sense of all other that was present.

There was no other way but to come back to it, to try again, to talk to the silence of the Absence, to sit across its personification, to read the life, to make sense of the passage to the time again.

Life is about living it regularly.

Living is about reading the life consistently, in fusion with its liveliness, in harmony with its silence.

A life’s identity is about existing in its fulsomeness. It is about inhabiting its voids.

He was not able to make sense of everything else in the life today. He was not able to talk to the Absence in him today.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/