THAT EVERYDAY JOURNEY

It was a vast expanse, virgin and uncharted
The joy of mapping it day after day
It was like visiting sanctums yet to be seen
The soul had no further expectations then
Than being on a journey to life and beyond
Paths would speak to destinations like routine
Sometimes it would be green of the rain
Or like the blue singing in melancholy quatrains
But all were like the dots waiting to connect
Known, unexpected, all colours would meet
In the freedom of sameness and its shades

©SantoshChaubey

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SOMETIMES, YOU JUST NEED TO WANDER IN A LOST REALM

Sometimes, you just need to walk away
Withdraw even from your days that make you
To sit in the cradle of nowhere and its voids
Where you can feel you are lost
Free from the hangovers of why it happened so
Where questioning things becomes immaterial
Because even answers lose relevance at times
You feel you just don’t want to listen to
Even if silence has been speaking all along
You go so deep inside a bottomless chasm
Where all melt, your identities and questions
And you just flow in an aimless direction
Feeling nothing of everything and such emotions
Of relations, of existences, of illusions
As if they have ceased to exist
And you just feel like staying there
Not knowing if you need to go back
Sometimes, you just need to withdraw
And need to wander in a lost realm
Feeling nothing to make sense again, like yesterday
Trying to feel if tomorrow really matters

©SantoshChaubey

SURROGATE BANALITIES

REFLECTIONS

“Keeping yourself hooked to the surrogate banalities –
– that is the worst you do to your soul!”

Surrogate Banalities

SURROGATE BANALITIES

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

EITHER YOU TAKE ‘SIDE’ OR YOU TAKE ‘SIDES’!

REFLECTIONS

“Either you take ‘side’ – or – you take ‘sides’.”

 

Taking Sides

EITHER YOU TAKE ‘SIDE’ OR YOU TAKE ‘SIDES’!

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

THE COLLECTIBLES – THAT PEN

This is my place to reminisce on memories of my life gone so far – picking up some thread, some element, some event, some experience from the days in my past – randomly – as they come – because we all are men of memories.

Here this is about this thing – a pen from my past – that came to my mind while discussing the proposition of ‘letting things go’ in life.

Like many, I, too, had this thing in my school days – collecting pens – and trying to get as soon as possible that new trendy introduction in the stationary shop that would be showcased – like a jewel of the category.

Obviously, there were cost constraints and I had to keep my pocket money into consideration while going for such ‘I must have’ decisions.

This pen – Add Diamond Roller – was recently launched in the market – when I saw it in the shop – in 1990s – when I was in 8th standard. I liked it at the first sight so much that I decided I would have it. But then there was this big problem. The pen was priced at Rs. 99, a considerably big sum for a schoolboy in those days, especially when it was the last week of the month. In fact, I had no money to purchase the pen if I had to manage the remaining days of the month with my pocket money.

But then the impulsive desire to have the pen was so intense that I found myself unable to wait for even a day more.

So, what could be done? So, what did I do?

Simple, and in fact, as I had a reputation of a good son, after a bit of convincing, I got some advance on my next month’s pocket money along with the money required to buy the pen.

The next day, the first thing I did was I rushed to the shop before going to the school to have the pen so that I could show it to others, could brag about it, as well as could feel good about it that I had such an expensive and latest addition to premium pens category in the market.

And for the whole day, I bathed in its glory.

And then it happened – the development that made it a memory worth reminiscing – because of its shock value.

I used to commute from auto-rickshaw in those days. I was very cautious about the pen and had it firmly slipped in my trouser’s pocket while boarding the one to my house. As usual, I was with my ‘feel good’ feelings, instilled with the pen’s possession now.

As soon I reached home, I rushed to show it to everyone there. I slipped my hand in my trouser’s pocket to have it and then I felt it – the shock of lifetime in those days. I had lost the pen somewhere – the pen that I had so cravingly purchased in the morning. It had slipped out of my pocket somewhere, probably in the auto-rickshaw.

At that instant I felt the whole world had come upside down. I felt both dumb and numb. While there were words of empathy, sympathy and even mockery on my loss, I suddenly felt detached from the world around me, and rushed to get some isolation.

Well, I didn’t know anything about ‘letting go’ or so in those days and how could we in that age, when we spend the whole life in convincing ourselves about the idea but it took me many days to get past the shock that I had so suddenly felt from the high pedestal of having the most expensive and elegant pen in the whole classroom. What would my friends and classmates say in the class next day? Certainly, you don’t like words of consolation in those moments.

The memory of this incident comes to revisit me again and again – in different hues – after different developments – but with similar core – even after so many years – because some of us build our life on memories – and I am certainly one of those fools. Yes, it makes me feel better that I have learnt to enjoy them or reconcile with them. That pen could not become part of my collection but its memory stayed – with different slants – in different circumstances.

When I thought to share this today, I was not sure if the pen was still available in the market but a Google search took me to its website that told me it was very much there.

Add Gel

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

TIMES WHEN YOU FEEL IT

Times when you feel it
And say, yes!
It was only yesterday
When life went nowhere
Bogged down by a no
So much so that
Fallacies sounded real
And absurdities natural
And then it happened
With you, inside of you
That made you say
No to that no
Soaking your soul
Into its realms
To see the times beyond
To seek a state beyond
Life puts you into this
Time and again
Sometimes
The ‘no’ is all you have
And you feel shattered
Within its confines
Sometimes
It is the ‘yes’
And its finality
That travels with you
To the realms beyond
Times when you feel it
That life is
Because you are
Unlike this yesterday

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

THE LIGHT AT THAT END

The light at that end
Was so enchanting
That the ride got lyrical
In a vein so existential
I was there, reaching out
Along with me
Feeding on
An aura surreal
Responding to a call
That sounded so mutual
Life is long
And life is short
To ask questions
To ignore propositions
You do what you do
Maybe impulsive
Or reflecting on
Or contemplating
Or even absent-minded
But that is you, isn’t it?
And you are not a question
But an answer to your ifs
A call to your isms
Painting your own canvas
Finding your meanings
As you move along life
And its stopovers
Like the light there
On an evening
When life speaks
And you join the call
Life is too short
To ignore such calls
And life is too long
To be there for long
Feel, live and paint it
Bathe in its illumination
Add to your panorama
Create your sub-stories
And get enamoured
To create your next song
To see the light
At your next stopover
To pick up the threads
Of the journey again
Feel it, live it
And paint your canvas

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

2016..A YEAR COMES..

COLORES INFINITUM

Why do we celebrate events like a ‘new year day’ – in every calendar – when it doesn’t bring any qualitative change in life in practical terms? After all, if we don’t count exceptions, nothing much changes on a ‘tomorrow’ than what it is on a ‘today’.

Well, it’s symbolic and therefore is important.

It is always between ‘what is going to change from one calendar day to the next’ and ‘every day is a new day, a reservoir of hopes, a new opportunity to do, undo or redo things’.

And it is always better to go with the later one – every day is a new day and every day is a new ‘you’.

Welcome 2016. Adieu 2015.

Reflect on. Retrospect. Introspect. And look ahead.

To reflect on the days ahead. To recharge yourself. With this symbolic milestone.

A symbolic milestone that comes every year.

It is for you to look at it – so why won’t we do it in a positive, uplifting mode?

Yes, life is very unpredictable – and so are its difficulties – with moments that let you down – with letdowns that lock you in an inertia.

But pragmatism tells to always look ahead – at the point beyond that letdown. It is only you who can break the run of inertia in your life – it is only you who can win over the psychological entrapments that you have built around yourself.

Life’s experiences should tell us that there is no substitute, no alternative, but to fight back – when life is dragging you down. Kill those jinxes that work to darken your path.

After all, apart from your family, who else stands with you emotionally? Everyone else either has a fleeting attention to the problems you are facing or a ‘knack’ to exploit you more in your hours of crisis.

The sum total is – there is no one else but you who’ll stand for you – and there is no one else but your family that will stand for you.

So, rules of the games point in just one direction – stay along and against the odds you face while trying to live life the way you seek.

Days like January 1 or December 31, now a universal phenomenon, are important milestones to take stock of how the time has gone by so far – and how you need to look ahead – to measure your life so far – with an element of periodicity.

And a touch of celebration is always welcome in this exercise.

Adieu 2015. Welcome 2016.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

2015 GOES BY..REFLECTING ON..

It is always between ‘what changes from one calendar day to the next’ and ‘every day is a new day, a reservoir of hopes, a new opportunity to do, undo or redo things’.

And it is always better to go with the later one – every day is a new day and every day is a new ‘you’.

Welcome 2016. Adieu 2015.

Reflect on. Retrospect. Introspect.

To reflect on the days ahead. To recharge yourself. With this symbolic milestone.

A symbolic milestone that comes every year.

It is for you to look at it – so why won’t we do it in a positive, uplifting mode?

Yes, life is very unpredictable – and so are its difficulties – with moments that let you down – with letdowns that lock you in an inertia.

But pragmatism tells to always look ahead – at the point beyond that letdown. It is only you who can break the run of inertia in your life – it is only you who can win over the psychological entrapments that you have built around yourself.

Life’s experiences should tell us that there is no substitute, no alternative, but to fight back – when life is dragging you down. Kill those jinxes that work to darken your path.

After all, apart from your family, who else stands with you emotionally? Everyone else either has a fleeting attention to the problems your are facing or a ‘knack’ to exploit you more in your hours of crisis.

Anyway, that was about migrating from one year to the next – here in this case, from December 31, 2015 to January 1, 2016.

So..what has been my account of the year?

Diversified. Challenging. With my share of highs and lows. With my problems and with my triumphs. Like it happens in every life.

The many things that I had thought to do this year – some of them I could do – some of them are works in progress – and some of them are in advanced stages of ideation – and some of them are in still pipeline – something that always happens – in every life – and I have learnt to enjoy it this way.

I successfully developed my personal website this year – which I treat as my web journal – and so far, I have been engaged with it looks and progress. I had taken the domain name last year but the development with a professional touch came this year – and it was in sync with what I had thought when I was beginning 2015.

While reflecting back on 2014 on December 31 last year, I had decided that I would devote more time to my books and would limit my online publishing activity to once a day. Now, when I am reflecting back on 2015, on a December 31 exactly one year later, I am already more than a post a day – so far 431 posts this year in 364 days with this December 31 yet to go.

2015 was the fourth consecutive year on my writing and publishing pledge when I could maintain the discipline of writing or creating something daily – something that I had begun on October 15, 2011 – though with a random thought – with no long terms goals – but with ‘every day’ convictions.

I still have no goals. My driver is the sense of satisfaction that I draw after creating something from discipline of doing it daily.

Yes, I regret that I could not work that much on my books as I had thought, but what is relieving is that I know that why I could not do so and that I would do something concrete with them in the days to come.

Like I have been doing with my writing and with my creativity, I could do all that I needed to – with diversity as the leitmotif – in articles, in essays, in poetry, in images, in quotes, in fiction.

All that I have been through in 2015 I cannot write here and I should not write here, but while moving to the next year with the symbolic importance of January 1 – of ‘newness and hope’ – I have no bad feeling about how 2015 passed – but good reasons to look ahead and positive energy to work further.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/