Looking off the window,
Talking to the distant thoughts,
Eyes fixed far in the absence,
As it is has become so everyday,
Like this moment,
As was the other day,
Reminding the windows,
The mundane opens in the life

Looking off the window,
I see the mundane on the go,
I read its presence,
As I did the last day,
As I get it into the moment now,
Telling me the other side of life,
The mundane so naturally builds,
For us to remain us, men of this world

Looking on the window,
Trying having sensed the expanse,
Looking to feel again,
As if I’ve travelled the distance,
To be one with my that ‘Self’,
When the mundane ‘Self’ sounds arguing,
Like it happens sometimes,
Pushing me to look inside the window

Looking on the window,
I dig down deeper as thoughts converse,
Not knowing the abyss of the creeper,
Nerves seem to cry from beneath,
Recollections flash upon that inward eye,
Reflections reconcile for that soliloquy,
When the calm feels vacant and pensive,
When solipsism gets talking and restive

WHEN I DIG IN.. (July 29, 2009) – Reworked, Rewritten (November 2, 2013)

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey –


The question is certainly individual and post-modern in its subtleties but the common thread is the elements of dilemma and the subsequent triumph in coherence with the existential fulcrum.

Who I was? Who I am? What I have become? Who I am to be?

Every life has its own take on these most pertinent questions of existence. The pure questions of the ‘being’ of the early years of existence are tested on the time-scale of the living variance as you cruise through the years of stay here.

Elements of identity coalesce to create a life-form.

A life begins with the raw values of existence and dismantles into their modified forms – something that tells the world who you were. Bringing the elements of poise into the existing pool of values is the basic texture of the questions behind the existential being in this world. The basic values of your position in the realm of existentialism – these are inherent to you, leading to the questions of the day-to-day life culminating in the question ‘who I am’.

It’s not about thinking grand to ponder over the question ‘who I am’; it’s about being intimate and honest to your ‘self’. It doesn’t require an intellect of the lifetime. Even the passing moment can lead you to reflect on this basic question of your ‘being’ here.

A life evolved is a life lived. A life lived with the elements of values poised to follow ‘your’ answers of ‘who you need to be’ is a life fulfilled.

We each interpret this poise of the elements of values based on the circumstances and ethos of the immediate sphere of the existence. And here lies the range on which the factors exist to make each life a journey different from the other.

A journey where being right or wrong doesn’t matter as much as your resolve to follow the best in ‘you’ and believe me, there is always a ‘yet to come’ ‘best in you’.

When you begin on the journey of conscious, everything is pure, directly from the pool of the endless possibilities, and so you float in a world of intrinsic energy to decide on and shape and reshape the questions ‘who I am’ and ‘who I need to be’.

As you move on the time-scale, the sphere of your very own experiences starts getting in touch with those of others, and in the process, exchanges may define and redefine the contours of your thought process, gradually shrinking the visibility of your intrinsic elements from the initial days of the unrestricted flow of energy.

But that rush to be your ‘self’ always remains there, though, circumstantially, the driving energy that thrusts you to achieve newer scales, may take a beating, leading to the spells of disbelieving in you.

What matters is the perpetuity of this flow of your intrinsic energy. It may take a beating but always remains there to be on your call. It is always on you when and how you make it.

Though everyone travels, only some make it.

Existentially, life is the pool of experiences that may let you up or let you down. What you aspired to be when your conscious began the journey of ‘who I am’ may not be the case when you got the professional foothold of your working life.

Reflecting back on it and finding that it let you up is the way forward. But if you feel what you are doing is letting you down should be the retrospection point to begin on the journey to reclaim your ‘self’; to make that call to your intrinsic energy to take the challenge of the change head-on.

Work till you get it. There is no limit but the one you impose on your ‘self’.

Always believe in the innocent aspirant of your beginning days and shape your world with the learning from the pool of experiences.

It works.

May 7, 2012

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey –


Life is certainly beautiful

Free with possibilities,

Crude and naked, as I see it now

As I would see it in the yore


Brimming with raw emotions

The charm of the liberated rustic

The foreplay of the sane absurdity

And the interspersed elements


Inviting the romance that I once felt

The joy of creating the signature tune

When you’re rendered meaningless

Reigniting the love with that ‘me’


As I looked inside for the ‘self’,

That was so self-contained,

That it lived severally-alone

In romance with the elements


Yes, it’s soothing, when I find

I still feel the same for you

Though, I know I am now

Deep inside me, severally-alone,

With me, with you, and with all

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – 


We are gifted with a life. We need to decorate it with a living that such a magnanimous gift deserves.

We are bejewelled with the beads of the time, a time that always moves ahead, telling us and foretelling us to recognize the ‘move ahead’ factor.

We are entrusted with a space that we need to enliven by our very presence here.

We need to be aware enough to cruise across the dimensions of the time and space to organize the beads on the timescale to put on a congruous sphere of existence.

Nothing condescending! Nothing subsisting! Nothing excruciating!

Yes, life does come across such moments and many find them aplenty but we need to see about their nothingness.

The cardinal-most lesson of life is to move as the time moves, taking strides forward.

And we don’t need to look anywhere but within us to make sense of how to make sense of looking forward.

We need to orient and re-orient the inflow of energy from within us to within us and we need to develop and sustain a harmony that travels from within us to our Self that is the representative of our Soul here.

We need to develop our internal faculties to set them in harmony along with the time-scale of the unidirectional flow of time.

Our internal faculties need to coordinate with each-other if we have to have this harmony.

How do we keep us, how do we talk, what do we think, and how do we feel about us – every element needs to be in harmony with the other and needs to be mutually communicating and fostering.

And we need to have this internal harmony to believe in ‘us’, to communicate with our ‘Self’, to exist within our ‘Soul’, to matter in our sphere of living and to prevail in life.

The flow of life has to be unidirectional. We need to realize the difference between the memories and the happenings.

The past is about memories. The present is about happenings. And we don’t need to be worried about the future. Taking care of the past (through the memories) and the present (with the happenings) will take care of the future.

For a unidirectional flow of life, as the time proceeds and processes us methodically and in existential harmony of the Universe, we, too, need to establish the internal harmony within our persona, diligently and consistently.

Swami Vivekananda said, “We see, then, that this human being is composed first of this external covering, the body; second, the finer body, consisting of mind, intellect and egoism. Behind them is the real Self of man. We have seen that all the qualities and powers of the gross body are borrowed from the mind; and the mind, the finer body, borrows its powers and luminosity from the soul, standing behind.” 

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey –