I SHALL SEE IT THEN..

In future, if I had to
Laugh at my helplessness
Or had to cry over it
I shall see it then
Now is not the time for that
That I think of something else
Life is moving at its own pace
And I am in my own passion
Yes, I laugh and I cry
But that as per my zeal
Right now,
Tomorrow is my only shadow
And today is my only life

I SHALL SEE IT THEN..

Scan0032

अपनी बेबसी पर हंसना पड़ा
या रोना ही पड़ा
तो देखेंगे हम
फिलहाल तो वक़्त नहीं है
के हम कुछ और सोचें
ज़िन्दगी अपनी रफ़्तार में है
और हम अपने जूनून में
हँसते भी हैं, रोते भी हैं
पर अपनी ही धुन में
अभी तो कल ही अपना है
और आज ही हमसाया है

तो देखेंगे हम

©SantoshChaubey

‘LET’S DO IT’ WAS A PLEDGE..

‘Let’s do it’ the other day you had decided
When you were left haunted and aggrieved
Pulled down by life’s routine and its uncertainties
Even if still in company of your rebel oddities
The other day when it had climaxed for you
The cacophony and a spilled over moronic virtue
The layers had suddenly lost their identities
Living was being held ransom to vague necessities
The other day when you had found yourself trapped
Into a dark alley of nihilism, and totally gagged
Your voice was lost into voids of nothingness
Your thoughts failed to speak from that mess
The other day when sense had sucked sensibility
And you were in desperate need of some brevity
To breathe free, to see why it had come to this
‘Let’s do it’ was a pledge by a life held in this abyss

Solitary Collage

‘LET’S DO IT’ WAS A PLEDGE..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

TIMES WHEN YOU FEEL IT

Times when you feel it
And say, yes!
It was only yesterday
When life went nowhere
Bogged down by a no
So much so that
Fallacies sounded real
And absurdities natural
And then it happened
With you, inside of you
That made you say
No to that no
Soaking your soul
Into its realms
To see the times beyond
To seek a state beyond
Life puts you into this
Time and again
Sometimes
The ‘no’ is all you have
And you feel shattered
Within its confines
Sometimes
It is the ‘yes’
And its finality
That travels with you
To the realms beyond
Times when you feel it
That life is
Because you are
Unlike this yesterday

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

THE LIGHT AT THAT END

The light at that end
Was so enchanting
That the ride got lyrical
In a vein so existential
I was there, reaching out
Along with me
Feeding on
An aura surreal
Responding to a call
That sounded so mutual
Life is long
And life is short
To ask questions
To ignore propositions
You do what you do
Maybe impulsive
Or reflecting on
Or contemplating
Or even absent-minded
But that is you, isn’t it?
And you are not a question
But an answer to your ifs
A call to your isms
Painting your own canvas
Finding your meanings
As you move along life
And its stopovers
Like the light there
On an evening
When life speaks
And you join the call
Life is too short
To ignore such calls
And life is too long
To be there for long
Feel, live and paint it
Bathe in its illumination
Add to your panorama
Create your sub-stories
And get enamoured
To create your next song
To see the light
At your next stopover
To pick up the threads
Of the journey again
Feel it, live it
And paint your canvas

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

PEAL THE ZEAL

Peal the Zeal 1

Peal the Zeal 2

PEAL THE ZEAL

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

IT WAS NOT A SO BAD DAY..

It was a bad day
And it was not a so bad day
Life had something to offer
Life had reasons to differ
And life had plans to betray
Yes, feelings were mixed
And nothing felt jinxed
There were moments
When life really sucked
But it’s for that healing touch
That life had in the day for me
A ray of hope, a way out
After every letdown
It was a bad day
When life tried to make it so
A mess after another
Loss after loss compounded
Senses were left speechless
Romance of loss setting in
When hope flickered
With a message
That there was hope still
To look beyond
What was already lost
To go ahead
From that dead-end point
I had no other way
But to act on those voices
I stirred my soul
Out of the trance setting in
Away from that romance
To give the day another chance
Creating on that healing touch
To make for the ones
The day had taken away
A day’s life
Had seen many rough patches
But now, a day in life
Had some positive energy
To undo the bad
To talk to the good
Yes, it was a bad day
But it was no so bad after all..

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

WHEN YOU STOP EXPECTING..

COLORES INFINITUM

Once upon a time, there was a man. He lived his life with a mixed bag of experiences. He could finally find the elements that would work for his conscience. Others, simultaneously, could see the elements, interpreting his life in their own terms. Life had its own parameters to judge his life in its own, routine way.

The mixed bag that he had was driven by a sense of contentment that he could finally reconcile with or absorb what was coming his way – but not at the cost of his self-respect. He had seen more of them making him feel low, but with passing time, he had stopped expecting, and it prepared him to take on every challenge in life.

When you stop expecting, even from you own ‘self’ – from your self-declared goals – you start learning and mastering the art of handing life, along with all its negative shades – you start learning the craft of keeping you away from ‘you’ of the moment – to make you one with your ‘you’ that you have thought of – when the time comes.

When you stop expecting from people around you, in your personal circles, and in your social circles, you start on a process where the only thing that remains accountable to you – is – how do you feel at the end of the day – that you came back to ‘you’ at the end of it. There are good people around you but there are no detractors, if they do/go otherwise.

When you stop expecting from life, your ‘yesterday’ and ‘tomorrow’ become self-aware and conscious of your ‘today’ – willingly or unwillingly concentrating your life in the moment that you are living on the day – because, you have taken elements that were in your past, assimilating them – and you are not going to ‘let yourself down’ if your tomorrow has something else, also, to offer.

When you stop expecting – you start accommodating – your ‘self’ of the day when it is the time to say ‘good bye’ – and – life and the events in life that were otherwise not acceptable. You start seeing people and their ways from their circumstances and perspectives too. You stop categorizing people in different mental blocks. They are there or there are not there.

Once upon a time, there was a man. At some point during his life, after having a run of negatives, after feeling long days of swollen thoughts, he was back to the ways that he had curated for himself – sans elements of expectations from anything, from anyone, including his own ‘self’. The spirit of ‘liberation’ that he felt every time he did so became leitmotif for him finally.

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

THE DAY WAS NAKED AND CHOPPED

The day was naked and chopped
It’s fragments were thrown in an abyss

Its vestiges were never enough
Yet, the show followed the unchanged script

As if living a leased day in life
Stealing from the text of yesterday’s lucidity

Imbibing the nakedness of desires
Trying to squeeze meanings from its elusiveness

The day’s today was barely enough
Surviving somehow, pushing the characters

It was mutilated and stripped of its soul
Staring through the lashes piercing its many lives

The vestiges were forced to hold the day
As if the day’s tomorrow had also fallen apart

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey –https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

DRESS UP, WRITE YOUR AMPERSANDS

God was there when you felt the eternal hands
God was there when you suffered the mortal pangs
Dress up, be your muse, write your ampersands
Life is short, waiting still, for you in untrodden lands


!


DRESS UP, WRITE YOUR AMPERSANDS

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/

OCTOBER 16, 2014: THREE ‘UNBROKEN’ YEARS ON ‘BEYOND THIS LIFE’

October 16: My Third Blogging Milestone Day

Yesterday, I completed three years of posting something, on a day to day rhythm, a work of mine – an article, a photograph, a quote, a poem or digital experiments on images – at least one of them every day, on this blog here, Beyond This Life*, my first blog that I created on July 1, 2009.

On October 16 in 2011, it was now some days that I had been thinking of making it a routine, a discipline, to look for ‘meaningful’ meanings in life after a series of huge emotional setbacks that had left me almost devastated, emotionally as well as existentially.

I was continuing with life, yet I was not living it. Throughout my whole life till then, I had arrived at meanings of events and elements of life on my own, with my identity firmly in place. And I bought what I spoke. I lived for what I was, for what my thoughts were.

But, the series of setbacks left me rushing for to call the meanings that had been pivotal so far. They had stopped responding. There was a nagging element of deepening mutual irrelevance. And my devastation was so acute that I was not able even to track down the meaning of the ‘meanings’ with the energy I was left with, even if I could. Something was killing ‘a person’ in me. My honestly cultivated life of ‘living severally alone’ was taking a severe beating, by detractors, by time, by moments, and by the people I cared for.

But like it is said the absolute hopelessness has elements of hope in-built; that there comes the lowest point on fall beyond which the journey goes always up.

I am yet to dissect on ‘what led to’, or probably I am not willing to look into at this moment, but I could see that ray of hope, I could identify those elements to pick up to enable me to be on the journey up.

And one of those major elements was this discipline with writing and posting something daily on my blog, something that was my own creation. Before it, my blog did have entries of others, though very few in numbers, but after it, it was all mine.

It was first on October 14 that year when I decided to begin but somehow could not post the October 15 entry in time. By the time I hit the ‘publish’ button, it was already October 16. But that was it. I posted another one on October 16, 2011 and it has been continued since then.

Yes, I had no idea on how long to go with, some future roadmap on it, a timeframe for which I would like to continue doing so. To sum up, it had no ultimate goal.

It built on day after day, week after week, month after, and then, year after year. There were small ‘scales’ to scale. There were small goals to achieve. There were randomly made thoughts to work on. And the events followed the continuity on the chain. With the central theme being maintaining the continuity, to have the chain remain unbroken.

It was a gradual healing, in stages, from one benchmark to next. The element chosen here pushed me to think more, think diverse and helped me think away. Here is how I have lived up these years so far on ‘Beyond This Life’.

October 16, 2011 to October 15, 2014 – 1096 days
October 16, 2011 to October 15, 2014 – 1352 posts
October 16, 2011 to October 15, 2012 – 374 posts
October 16, 2012 to October 15, 2013 – 439 posts
October 16, 2013 to October 15, 2014 – 539 posts

These figures are what define my journey on ‘Beyond This Life’ so far, scaling up gradually, like the healing.

What began as an urge to explore and write something day after day is now an urge that comes with a joy of creating every day, writing on range of issues, writing on life, clicking life, experimenting with words and images.

And the satisfying part of it is I still feel the same urge, a call that helps me to remain focused on exploring more and learning more – learning on the journey to life.

And like October 16, 2011, still, I do not have set goals to achieve or ‘scales’ to scale, but the motivation to feel the joy of having created something of my own at the end of the day.

*Beyond This Life – http://severallyalone.blogspot.in/

©/IPR: Santosh Chaubey – https://santoshchaubey.wordpress.com/